Friday, November 13, 2009

The Oyster and the Pearl

by: Janey Frazier


Saturday I will say goodbye to my left breast. It’s only been three weeks since my breast cancer diagnosis, yet the “before” time seems a world away. I’ve gone through the expected emotions – fear, grief, acceptance, more fear, more grief, and so on. But in some ways it has been a good time – I did not know I had such supportive friends and family members. They have rallied around me in every possible way. And my husband has confirmed that he is, in fact, the incredibly strong, courageous, loving man I married – we are tackling this challenge as a team.



I have always had a strong faith at the center of my life. I don’t attend Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, etc. services, but I have an unshakable belief in a higher power. And I have always believed that the real me is not the body that perishes at the end of this life. I may not know how it works, but I believe that we continue on after this life has ended.


So that brings me back to my breast. It’s been a good breast and I will grieve its loss. But I do not fear the change to my body. My body is just the house I’m renting for this “season” of my life – I don’t own it and like even the best rental, the lease will eventually come to an end. I will take the best possible care of my body (I always have). I will face this challenge and I will survive this disease. But I will also remember that my body is just housing – no matter what happens to it, I will remain safe and strong within.


I am not my body.


I am not the oyster.


I am the pearl inside…



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1 comment:

  1. UnknownApril 20, 2010 at 7:16 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear the pain you are going through. I have not loss a breast nor suffered the cancer although I loss my mother to breast cancer when she 48 years old. She lost not only two of her breast but her life

    You are right, our bodies are only a shell. The outer layer that people first see. I am fighting a tragic disease unknown to many. Promm type 2. At glance my shell looks healthy however, once you see me walk one knows that it is not. My muscles are fading and will soon not be strong enough to hold up my shell. I like you, will need to say good bye to my body once I am confined to a wheelchair.

    Your words are powerful and I now know and understand my body is only a shell that I am renting, using and once this body dies, I will continue to live without illness in my Fathers house.

    I too am not my body, and I wont be defined by my illness. I am the pearl inside my failing body waiting to be free.

    Thanks for word words of comforting words.

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