Out of the Darkness - Into the Light!

I lost a nephew to suicide in January 2005. Jeremy and his sister Stacy were adopted by my husband’s brother and his wife when they were about 4 and 6 years old. Howard and Flo provided a good, stable home life and both children were accepted as if they had been born into the family. In spite of individual and family counseling, I believe both children struggled with attachment and abandonment issues as a result of their early years of bouncing around the foster care system. I must admit that once he left home, communication dried up, so I did not know Jeremy as an adult. I know he’d found love, settled down in Nevada and found a way to support himself and his new wife. But I also know that he struggled with the demons of his youth and when his relationship hit an inevitable rough patch, he did not have the skills to weather the storm. When he took his life, he was on the phone to his mother, in a final, desperate act to reach out. He was worried about his dogs. The police arrived in time to hear the single gunshot. The call still haunts my sister-in-law. I often wonder if there was something I could have done.


Suicide Prevention Week, held the second week of September each year helps to raise awareness of suicidal behaviors and recognizes those who are working to prevent suicide. This year it is September 7 – 12th.


So… Fashionable Giving debuts this month and will focus on this rarely discussed topic, which touched my life almost 5 years ago. I have several friends who lost someone they loved to suicide and there are no words to adequately comfort them in their grief. I cannot change the past, but I know that one person can make a difference by creating hope and a conversation, in an attempt to prevent the loss of another precious life.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)

“More than 32,000 people in the United States die by suicide every year. It is this country's 11th leading cause of death, and is often characterized as a response to a single event or set of circumstances. However, unlike these popular conceptions, suicide is a much more involved phenomenon. The factors that contribute to any particular suicide are diverse and complex, so our efforts to understand it must incorporate many approaches.” The World Health Organization notes that over 1 million people commit suicide every year and that it is the leading cause of death among teenagers and adults under the age of 35."

Heather Hays (www.heatherhays.com), a journalist and author of Surviving Suicide, How to Heal Your Heart, Life Stories from Those Left Behind, quotes

“Every 45 seconds someone attempts suicide. Every 16 minutes someone succeeds.”

I did a little math with these stats and found that each and every 24 hours, there are 1920 attempts to end life. 150 are successful. I had no idea. Every day, we lose 150 creative minds that could potentially solve world hunger, bring peace to warring nations, paint the next Mona Lisa, harness green energy, create new ways to build community, and so much more. I am staggered, not just by the numbers - which would be sufficient - but by the loss to our collective humanity.


According to the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP), suicide is preventable.

“During the last three decades we have learned a great deal about the causes of this complex behavior. Suicide has biological, cultural, social and psychological risk factors. People from socially and economically disadvantaged backgrounds are at increased risk of suicidal behaviour. Childhood adversity and trauma, and various life stresses as an adult influence risks of suicidal behaviour. Serious mental illnesses, most commonly depression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders and schizophrenia, are associated with increased risk of suicide. Diminished social interaction increases suicide risk, particularly among adults and older adults.

Despite its often complex origins, suicide can be prevented. Communities and societies that are well integrated and cohesive have fewer suicides. Restricting access to methods of suicide (such as firearms or pesticides) reduces suicides. Careful media reporting of suicide prevents further suicides. Educating communities and health and social services professionals to better identify people at risk of suicide, encourage them to seek help, and providing them with adequate, sustained and professional care can reduce suicides amongst people with mental illness. Providing adequate support for people who are bereaved by suicide can reduce their risk of suicide.”

GET HELP! If you or someone you know is thinking about ending life, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or 1-800-273-TALK (8255)


Tomorrow: Learn the Early Warning Signs.