Buffing up a battered Self-Esteem

Someone asked me the other day "Are you always so positive?!"  I had to think about it for a second, but my answer was (and is!) "Yes....for the most part I am."  That got me thinking about resiliance.  You know...how to get back into the batter's box when life hurls the inevitable fast or curve ball, and it hits you.  Too bad we can't just throw down the bat and take a base!  Nope, we have to stay at the plate and keep swinging.  Baseball metaphors aside, I thought about the tools I use and of course, the universe provided the answer, as I was cleaning out an old file drawer.

I found this list a number of years ago and fell in love.  It's concise, easy to follow and reminds me to appreciate the very special gifts that only Kathie can bring to this game called life.  Each year as I review the year and set new goals, I take a look at this list and do a self assessment.  Whether you are struggling with a life threatening disease, trying to make your way back from an abusive situation or simply trying to figure out why you are here, I am confident that following these few exercises will help keep you at the plate and swinging away!

• Cultivate self-appreciation.  Write a list of your top seven qualities as these are what make you unique onto a 3 x 5 index card. Carry the card with you every day and read them several times a day (out loud is best!) to remind yourself of who you are and what makes you special. And you ARE....special.
• Write a list of past successes.  Think about the times in your life when you've been successful at something. Write a list of all of these and remind yourself of how you did this and how great it felt when you'd achieved your goals. Use these past experiences to fuel your self-belief and confidence for achieving your goals now.
• Don't engage in negative dialogue.  Don’t put yourself down in front of others as it succeeds to tell you and everyone else that you don’t value yourself and have a low self-confidence.  The sub-concious mind cannot take a joke, so negativity sinks in really deep.  Be careful who you hang around with and limit your exposure to negative media.
• Support yourself and put yourself first.  Be your own best friend. Don’t beat yourself up and call yourself names. Be encouraging and congratulate yourself when you complete actions moving towards your healthier lifestyle goal. This will help your self-worth soar.
• Choose positive role models.  By looking at others in a constructive way rather than negatively comparing, we can help ourselves. Look at others with a glowing self-confidence and notice their characteristics. Pick up words and body language that they use and add this to your own repertoire.  You are the company you keep.  Your friends are a reflection of what you believe your true nature to be.
• Accept Compliments.  Being able to accept, believe and feel good about accepting compliments is crucial to cultivating a high self-confidence. The best way to accept compliments is to look the person in the face, smile and say "thank you". And that's all!  This will in turn also make them feel good. Looking embarrassed, and feeling uncomfortable will also make them feel uncomfortable.
• Banish negative beliefs.  What are your negative beliefs and how have your negative beliefs held you back so far? Write them down.  Cross them out and make a pact to add nothing else to the list.  Then, for each negative belief write down one of the positive beliefs you developed in the first exercise.
• Adjust your body language.  Stand tall.  Head up, shoulders back, belly in...strong from the core.  Having good posture tells your mind, and others, that you’re looking good and feeling confident.  I love the line from Trading Places, the Dan Ackroyd/Eddie Murphy movie.  "Looking good Billy Ray!"  "Feeling good Billy Ray!"  Say it out loud.  Yes...you'll probably laugh, but you will also feel great!
• Use positive affirmations.  Using positive affirmations everyday is effective as you’re communicating with the negative thoughts stored in your sub-conscious. Pick three strong statements, which literally make a negative self-belief into a positive one. For example, if you believe you’re not a confident person then “I am a confident person” should be one of the positive affirmations that you say every day. Say your positive affirmations out loud while looking in the mirror and connect with yourself.  If you need help with this, there is a fabulous deck of cards written and produced by Louise Hay, one of my favorite authors.  Check the link below - it's worth the investment.
• Redefine your self-image.  You are who you THINK you are.  Think about and write up who you are now. Identify the bits you want to change and rewrite a definition of your self-image. Read this everyday for the next three weeks at least and be that person. Prepare for the changes you are going to make and the new you by throwing out your old clothes and thinking about how best to dress your new self. Then go shopping!

Batter up!  How do you work on, polish up your self image?  Please share your best tips/tricks.